'You-er' than you
Words by Joany Badenhorst
11 June 2019
Growing up in South Africa I always had my close-knit friends and we did everything together. We spent our spare time running around in grass fields, riding horses and of course, baking mud cakes!
In 2005 I lost my leg in a freak farming accident and this way of life became very difficult. My friends found it genuinely challenging to adopt this new version of me. I spent less and less time with them and found myself becoming very lonely and insecure about what I had left to offer them.
My struggle continued throughout school. I couldn’t find my place within friendship groups and lacked the confidence in who I was. So, I tried to blend in. Often, I would change myself to suit the crowd and avoid standing out at all costs. My friends would say “jump” and I would say “how high” - it was toxic. I felt so fake with the people that were supposed to be my best friends. Long lasting friendships are supposed to be based on people liking you because of your quirkiness, your company and your morals - the things that make you… you!
It wasn’t until the end of high school, 7 years later, that I came to terms with who I was physically and socially. In a nutshell, I simply had to learn to love who I was if I wanted others to do the same. From the moment I stopped wanting to blend in and follow the crowd, I discovered what truly mattered to me. It was clear, the type of friend, the daughter, the teammate and the person I wanted to become. Sure enough, I started meeting people that were like minded, that encouraged me to be better. Friends that loved me…for me!
My mum always told me that if someone was meant to be in my life, then they will be. It’s that simple. You don’t have to fit in, just be yourself and if they don’t like you, then you don’t have to be friends with them. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have or how many followers you have on Instagram. As long as you are there to support others when they are doing it tough, then hopefully they will be there to support you too.
You can’t become the best version of yourself by following the crowd, don’t be basic. Go against the grain! Be the change you want to see, work hard and stick by your morals. Because as long as you do that, you will always be true to who you are. You will be able to succeed at the things that you’re passionate about and most importantly, you will have the RIGHT tribe of friends supporting you all the way.
Always remember to show your true Colours. Don’t be boring, be you! For every single person that will show their true colours- the world gets a little bit more colourful!
Be what you want to be. Go and create the life you want to live.
And Love yourself.