An end of year note
Words by Joany Badenhorst
30 December 2019
With what felt like a big blur that rushed past me, the end of the year has come. Its snuck up on me, and before I knew it, shops where putting up tinsel and playing classic Christmas tunes. School has finished and the time to relax with friends and family has come, whatever shape and size you have them in.
But what a year it’s been. Throughout the last 12 months I like so many others, have had the highest of highs and lowest of lows; With starting up university, starting a new job, retiring from a 12-year athletic career and so much more.
For many, 2019 has felt like a constant uphill battle. I know it has for me. Between trying to study and work, be social and spending time with family, it felt like every obstacle in my way was put there on purpose. Coming up for a breath of fresh air felt hard, and at times, I just wanted to be alone. Even reaching out to family and friends seems overwhelming, but sometimes you have to force yourself to do it, even just to know you are not alone.
Well the year is at an end and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful.
I am grateful for the love and support of friends and family, thankful for a job that allows me to live life in Sydney and blessed with like-minded people around me to help support me and guide me.
Thinking back over 2019, I find myself looking closely at the times I struggled, the times I found incredibly tough and the moments I felt most alone. Those moments shaped me and molded me to be stronger, to be more patient and to be kinder to myself and others.
I am eternally grateful for them.
It might be difficult sometimes to see the light in a dark situation, but I’ll let in you in on my little end of year secret…
Make a list of the moments that challenged you the most
For me, I wrote down my retirement from sport. Even though it was the right decision for me and my health – both mentally and physically – I never really thought that I would struggle with it as much as I did.
Write down why those moments challenged you
I found it so difficult because everything about my life changed all at once. All of the sudden I was an athlete without a career, without a drive and without a purpose. I felt like something in my day to day was missing and nothing could fill it. I felt alone and like I could make myself or anyone around me proud with just living a ‘normal’ life.
List some ways that you might have better dealt with it
I should have reached out to my family and friends sooner. I thought that they wouldn’t understand what I was going through and therefore I thought it would be a waste of time and a nuisance involving anyone else.
I should have trusted that the people closest to me would have wanted to help. Even if they didn’t fully understand what I was going through, they could have provided me with the encouragement and support I needed to snap out of it earlier.
And lastly, I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on myself to figure it out on my own. That’s why you have mentors and leaders in your life, people you can look to who might be able to help bring a light to your situation.
Write down the lesson you take into 2020 from this experience. What have you learned?
I have learned to be kinder to myself and not to put unnecessary pressure and expectation on myself to always succeed or get it right alone. I have come to appreciate the strength of my family and friends and have found inspiration in the openness and honestly that surrounds them
So, 2020 is around the corner and that means a new year, new goals and new you. Take note of the lessons learned this year and use them make better and smarter decisions. Set your goals early on and work hard to achieve them. Be kind to yourself and others and make sure to bring this year to and end celebrating those people in your life you love and being grateful for the moments that have shaped you to be the best version of yourself walking into 2020.
Merry Christmas and have a safe and kind holiday.