The fear of failure

Words by Joany Badenhorst

20 January 2020

Did you know that Walt Disney, Creator of Disney Pictures, was fired by the editor in 1919 from his job at the Kansas City Star paper because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”, or that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team because his coach didn't think he had enough skill…?

Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? Or has a fear of failure meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own ability just to avoid the possibility of failing? Well, welcome to the club…

Why do you think we do that to ourselves?

Many of us are sometimes so afraid of failing that we have the automatic response to not even try, but we mustn't let that fear stop us from moving forward.

Fear of failure can have several causes: from childhood events to mistakes we've made in our adult lives. It's important to realise that we always have a choice: we can choose to be afraid, or we can choose not to let our fear drive our actions, our responses or our emotions. When you fail, get up. Do it again because every time something doesn’t work out it means that you are that much closer success!

I lost my leg in 2005 in a freak accident, I had never seen snow or skied before in my life, but in 2013 I decided I wanted to compete for Australia in Snowboard Cross.

And I was terrible.

It was so difficult and so embarrassing. This new challenge I set for myself seemed impossible and slightly ridiculous! But if I gave in to my emotions, the fear of failure or embarrassment, I would never have gone to represent Australia at two Paralympic games!

I can promise you that I fell more times than I could ever count, but what made the difference was that I stood up after every single fall. I knew that it was something I wanted to do and someone I wanted to be.

So, I made my choice. I decided to reshape and redefine failure in my own mind.

How do you redefine failure?

Behind many fears is worry about doing something wrong, looking foolish, or not meeting expectations. By framing a situation you’re dreading differently before you attempt it, you may be able to avoid some stress and anxiety.

Think about it this way... See it as a challenge rather than obstacle. The actor Will Smith told a story about how his father once tore down an entire brick wall out the front of their shop. He then told his two young boys to rebuild it. Understandably, they both looked at the mountain of bricks and told their dad that it was absolutely impossible for them to do it!

He stooped down and told the boys NEVER to say they can’t, because by saying the word, they immediately admitted defeat without even trying. They just had to change the way they saw the challenge of building the wall. The best way to tackle it is NOT by setting out to build a wall, but to focus on laying each individual brick as precisely and perfectly as they could. Before they knew it, they had rebuilt the entire wall by themselves…

It just takes a change of perspective and a choice to do something. Once you decide, you do it. As easy as that.

So, I want to challenge you this week: what do you see as an obstacle in your life? Can you reshape it into a challenge to be tackled rather than a big brick wall blocking your way?

Have a go, because just as Confucius once said: 'He who says he can and he who says he can't, are both usually right.'

Because the first step is, before anybody else in the world believes you can do it, you have to believe you can do it.